I have a theory. And this theory is proven every single time I get in the car and leave my driveway. I honestly believe that the reason Utah drivers drive so poorly is that is their only way to be rebellious. "Can't drink or smoke or have sex...then allbeit...I'm gonna drive like shit!"
If any of you haven't felt the fear of driving yet in this state, come take a drive. You'll be cut off, see that merging is an unknown skill, talking on the phone while putting on makeup and feeding the baby are the norm, and that red lights are mere "suggestions."
To sum it up...here are a few bumper sticker ideas that I stole off a blog I regularly read. Enjoy.
"Praise to the Man who communed with his road rage"
"Will You Drive This Bad in the Celestial Kingdom?"
"Have I Done Any Good on this road today? "
"No garments? THAT explains why you're driving the speed limit!"
"Forgive me, brothers and sisters, I'm late for a(nother) meeting! "
"I don't cut people off on Sundays, so back off! "
"I am your chance to practice Christlike love and forgiveness. "
'Choose the right...lane, when a choice is placed before you''
"We all must work, let no one shirk, now put your hand on the damned wheel and drive along''
"10% better than yours"
''Babies on board'
"Zoom Zoom Ye Saints."
"My Other Car is a handcart, but THIS one hauls ass!"
"I wouldn't have to drive like this if I were allowed to have a Starbucks."
"Go ahead! My real driving history is locked in a vault, and I won't let anyone see it!"
"CTR--Especially If You're Going Only 5 Over the Speed Limit"
"My SUV's Better Than Your Hybrid"
"If You Can See This Bumper Sticker Which Reads Women Should Have The Priesthood Then you're Too Damn Close! "
"Mountain Meadows Maniac!"
"Get off my ass, or I will go TELESTIAL on you!!"
"I dunk dead people"
"My driving is sophmoric, I mean bisophric"
"I've done my good today, now move along!"
"You want to hie to Kolob?! I'll hie you to Kolob!"
“Stick to your bicycle, it’s safer for me.”
"Now I know what UTARD means."
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